Fan Fic

[anaconda894]

Dunno if someone's already done this but I'm making a Gish fanfic. It will try to explain many of Gish's unanswered questions, like where balls of tar come from, and why they go to school. I'll post it when I'm done. http://pontifex2.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/smile.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':)'>

[Jonathan_NL]

I already know where http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tar_%28file_format%29" target="_blank">tarballs come from: tar. http://pontifex2.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/biggrin.gif" border="0" valign="absmiddle" alt=':D'> Seriously, this could be interesting...

[anaconda894]

So I've finished the introduction, which is pretty long, since it goes through the whole game. I used this site as a source for characters' genus, species, and other info:

http://coldstoragedesigns.com/gishcast.htm" target="_blank">http://coldstoragedesigns.com/gishcast.htm

Once I finish chapter one, I'll post it with the intro on this topic!

[anaconda894]

Here it is so far. Things will start to move more in chapter two.

Introduction

   By the year 52130, evolution had really changed everything. There were new animals: the obbies, the gorms, the zippers, the begotts, the peashies, the skinnies, and the mukes. Despite what they had predicted back in the four-digit ages, humans were still alive. There were three kinds of humans in the five-digit ages: the woknus, the gurgons, and the hummies. Hummies were known for the fact that they had lived in the four-digit ages, while gurgons were known for being short and having big heads, and woknus had four arms.
   Most of the new, freakishly evolved creatures had been exiled, kept in zoos, or just not given any rights. Mukes were considered one of the most common and intelligent of these creatures, so they were not kept in zoos or jails. Mukes had all the rights of humans, and there were even muke schools.
   This story is about me, a tar muke. It is also about my wife, who is a gurgon. And it's about someone I used to know, who was also a tar.

   It started in my hometown of Neverlis, where I lived with the gurgon. Her name was Brea. She was just my girlfriend at the time, but we planned on protesting for an interspecies marriage in a few years. We had a nice apartment, and I had a well-paying job as a plumber.
   It happened on Saturday morning. Brea and I were taking a walk through the park. I've always liked the park. It has benches made specially for tar. We were enjoying that wonderful level of light that comes at that certain time of day, when we crossed the street. That's when the trouble began. Something appeared from an open manhole, and it pulled Brea in.
   My reflexes sent me shooting down the manhole, but when it went on longer than I thought, I realized something that would have been helpful a long time ago: this was no ordinary manhole.
   Eventually, I hit the ground with a splat, and I scanned the area. It was hard to see anything, but there was a sign on the wall:

WELCOME TO DROSS
POPULATION: 6,000,000

   I looked around in search of the 6,000,000. Instead, I saw about fifty nibble grips–ancient gorms that had been locked underground years ago. Not good.
   I later learned that there was a whole underground city called Dross. It stretches across the whole Earth, and it's inhabited by millions of obbies, gormanders, zipperheads, begottens, peashies, skinlings, and mucilags. A muke down there told me that two sister Viscerens lived deep underground, and when I asked what a Visceren was, he said it was a zipper about three times the size of an average muke.
   After going further down in search of Brea, I met them: Mara and Pluto Visceren. I broke the ground and pushed both of them into the lava, but they must have survived somehow, because I met them later. That was when I squashed them once and for all, just like all the other enemies I had encountered–the honey buckets, Paunchy Chops, Basenjinn, nibble grips, tetnis grips, marrow grips, mortobbies, zombobbies, sapros, gimper scamps, and alter scamps.
   I had defeated Mara and Pluto, and that was good, but then I saw who had kidnapped Brea. It was a gray female tar. She kept talking to me like she knew me. "How can you not remember me?!" she kept shouting. "I sat next to you in high school! We lived next door to each other for six years! We practically lived together!"
   By now, I recognized her. It was Hera, my girlfriend from high school. We had had some good times together.
   "Every day I see you with HER!" she went on. "It's just not right! You should be with me! Gish plus Hera equals true love! MARRY ME HERE AND NOW OR BREA WILL NEVER LIVE TO SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN!" Brea! I turned around. Brea was in a stone cage, which was hanging from a chain above a huge pool of lava.
   "You see that chain?" Hera said. "When I set off the alarm, part of the wall will come out and cut the chain, and the cage will land in the lava. YOU CAN PREVENT ALL THIS BY MARRYING ME RIGHT NOW!"
   "And how do you set off the alarm?"
   "By going underneath the cage."
   "Then I won't marry you."
   "WHAT?!"
   This is my chance. I pull the lever to the side. The floor opens underneath us. There are some blocks on the ground. I grab one of them and throw it onto the button on the far left. A trap door opens in the floor, revealing the lava pit.
   Before I can think, Hera comes smashing down on me, hardened. I harden myself, and she gets shoved off of me, and goes flying into the lava.
   Now, before you start misjudging me, let me tell you this: I did not intend to throw Hera in the lava. I just meant to throw her off of me, so I could rescue Brea. Then I would have thrown Hera in the cage and left. But now that Hera was already in the lava, I sat there and watched her die. Blobs of gray tar slowly drifted through the lava, away from her body. I saw her skull melt, and only her beautiful eyes remained floating on the surface.
   Brea was horrified. I sat there wondering how to rescue her. If I jumped underneath the cage, the chain would break, sending both of us splashing into the lava. But if I could prevent that...
   I flattened myself as tightly as possibly, then hardened myself. I launched through the air and flew past the cage. The chain broke. This was my only chance. If I messed this up, Brea and I were both dead. When the cage hit me from above, I stuck myself to it. When I reached the wall, I stuck the other side of myself to it.
   Brea was screaming. The lava had burnt away the corner of the cage and was creeping up the bars. I pressed the side of the cage against myself, and with everything I had in my muscular system, I hardened myself and let go.
   The cage fell towards the lava.
   I jumped back onto the floor, just barely missing the lava, and stuck myself to the cage. Then, carefully, I lifted it out of the lava and onto the floor.
   Brea was still alive.
   Later, we met a Begott who let us borrow the elevator back to Neverlis. It took about an hour to get up, and it ended up behind a dumpster. I carried the cage home, sawed through the bars, and dragged Brea out. She gave me the first hug I had had in months.

   A year later, we started the protesting, and a year after that, we had the first legal interspecies marriage. We became entomologists after that, and I learned a lot about bugs that I never knew before.
   But this story takes place years later...


Chapter 1
Gish

   Before I go on, I should explain a bit about myself. As you know, I'm a mucilag, or muke. And as you know, I'm a tarmanium, or tar. To clear things up, mucilag is the genus, tarmanium is the species, and muke and tar are short for them, because nobody wants to go around saying "tarmanium" all day. It sounds cool, but it's too long.
   Thousands of years ago, in fourdigit, hummies started to use "slang", or language that wasn't real but was still common. Some of them thought that in the future, all the languages would be a big pile of words that used to be slang. They thought there would be a shorter version of everything. They were partly right. There's a shorter version of a lot of things, but we still use real words. And that's why I'm a mucilag tarmanium, but most people call me a ball of tar. People aren't sure how tars came to be. Most people say they evolved from snakes, sponges, or fish. I'm going to go with snakes.
   Tars are very complex animals. Instead of skin, we have this weird stuff called tarmanium, which is obviously how we got our name. Tarmanium can change depending on how tars decide to change it, kind of like chameleons. We can make ourselves sticky, in case we need to climb a wall, get out of a hole, or survive other sticky situations (pun intended). Next, we can make ourselves more liquid-like, which the humans call "slippery" or "slick". This is good for squeezing through cracks, avoiding being crushed, or cleaning pipes and gutters. And the coolest thing we can do is harden ourselves. This is useful for pushing heavy objects, weighing things down, breaking down doors, or squashing the inhabitants of Dross.
   And speaking of the inhabitants of Dross, let's explain some of the genus and species down there.

Species      Genus      Name

Tarmanium   Mucliag      Tar
Yoteke      Mucilag      Honey Bucket
Dinglus      Mucilag      Dingle
Clottox      Mucilag      Clot Gobbler
Nibgrip      Gormander   Nibble Grip
Margrip      Gormander   Marrow Grip
Tetgrip      Gormander   Tetnis Grip
Coddlinus   Gormander   Coddle Sack
Mortobby   Obby      Mortobby
Zombobby   Obby      Zombobby
Scarcobby   Obby      Scarcobby
Bishobby   Obby      Bishobby
Saprosius   Begotten   Sapros
Gurgeblus   Begotten   Gurge Baby
Paunchox   Begotten   Paunchy Chops
Gimper      Zipperhead   Gimper Scamp
Ptera      Zipperhead   Ptera Scamp
Visceren   Zipperhead   Mara and Pluto Visceren
Incubus      Peashy      Incubus
Cereus      Peashy      Cereus
Blotus      Skinling      Bloatling
Dumpus      Skinling      Dumpling
Weltus      Skinling      Weltling

   You can refer to that chart if you ever want to know some nerdy information. Anyways, now for the story...

TO BE CONTINUED! That's all I have for now, but more later. Sorry the chart's kind of hard to read, but I hope you can all figure it out.

[Sword King 22]

All the creatures that don't sound familiar (Ptera Scamp, Peashy, Weltling) are either in the other badlands games, the badlands comic, or in the upcoming Cereus Peashy game from Diverge.